unfortunate eccentricity.

nothing else seems to matter when in this high of eccentricity.. surrounded by an aura that is pleasantly unfamiliar to me.

it felt much like a fantasy.. like i entered a world of dreams and they were far from being real. but it was, so i thought- that wondrous eccentricity.

we flew and we grew into a union of pure admiration..nothing this peculiar has ever felt so.. natural. we flowed together in a sea of understanding-that lovely eccentricity.

our perfect nest of love slowly began to deteriorate.. confusion took hold of what we had.. the rhythm of our hearts no longer shared the same beat- that dissapointing eccentricity.

we reluctantly parted ways.. hand in hand- walking in opposite paths with no turning back- that relieving eccentricity.

i tried to become forgetful and detach from the nearby past- yet my soul still wandered in that wonderland of curiosity; my heart, aching..longing for an answer-that painful eccentricity.

i am aware that this was far from a mistake..as i know there was a purpose of us coming together-i shall not dwell on what was missed, but forever cherish what was gained- that hopeful eccentricity.

will we ever be as we were?- or was the kiss we shared forever our last..? so many questions in mind..still left without an answer. there is nothing else to do but Dream- because those pictures in the night are as close as i will ever be to what once was..

-that Unfortunate Eccentricity.

Original Quote.

-

 

"the moment of truth lies in the magic of  love.. but the existence of such beauty is forever a powerful mystery."

-Me.

♥12.11.09 ♥

God, where are you ?

I think a  lot about the state of the world today. i wonder why it is so difficult to have and to maintain peace.. i believe it is because we as a nation have never truly had that. so many wars.. so much violence.. so much killing taking place. i don't understand it.  We pray to the lord above us.. to bless us with happiness and to release us... but why nothing ? why no positive change ? where are you god ? you must look down upon us and be  overwhelmed with remorse. how does your gracious heart let so much bad happen in this world ? the little girl that was abducted and killed.. the woman that was raped and beaten to death.. the families that lost it all due to the flooding of new orleans.. the killing of innocent people.. How do you sit back and let this happen ?  Do you want us all to suffer?? we've been through so much.. have you no sympathy for what happens to your children everyday ? do you believe that all of this pain is the way to  true salvation ? because when i look at what this world is, i am not sure that there is one.  only you have the power to fix it all.. so why watch us like this..  are we an everlasting film composed of the worst ? is all of the  bad that happens amusing to you ? i just want an answer god. i think we all want an answer. you are the only one capable of giving it to us.. and we are ready to receive. i've asked you so many questions. but please, just answer this last one... "god, where are you ??"

Show Me.

by John Legend.

I realize as I lay down to sleep
We haven't spoken in weeks
So many things that I'd like to know
Come have a talk with me
I need a sign, something I can see
Why all the mystery?
I try not to fall for make believe
But what is reality?
Where do we go?
What do we know?
Life has to have a meaning
Show me the light
Show me the way
Show that you're listening

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

Guess it's funny how I say thanks to you
For all you've given me
Sometimes the price of what you gave to me
I can't stop questioning
O God of love, peace, and mercy
Why so much suffering?

I pray for the world, it gets worse to me
Wonder if you're listening
When people go
Why do they go?
Why don't you choose me?
But someday I know
I'm gonna go
I hope you're waiting for me

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

Maybe we'll talk
Some other night
Right now I'll take it easy
Won't spend my time
Waiting to die
Enjoy the life I'm living

Show me that you love me
Show me that you walk with me
Hopefully, just above me
Heaven's watching over me

electric relaxation.

 well, well, well. its been a while. things have been quite different.. i have a feeling this will be a better year. i've been having my share of fun lately.. as i should be. met  some interesting people.. done some cool things. i feel like the older i become, the more i begin to know myself. hopefully this journey of mine will be worthwhile.. because i would hate to not gain anything..mentally. i realize more each day, and i'm glad because it gives me something to think about. sometimes you have to let things fall into place.. everything can't be controlled, and i've learned that. i like the idea of  living freely so much more. it feels natural. why stress about things that i can do nothing about ? why live according to a structure everyday ? i cant... i wont be happy. i just need to kick back, chill, and enjoy the relaxation..

Me.

confusion. wonder. eccentricity. pain.

seems as though my life has consists of these things.

confusion. wonder. eccentricity. pain.

i awaken  in a blur, as  these four are there to greet me at dawn.

confusion. wonder. eccentricity. pain.

 for almost seventeen years, they strangely remain.

confusion. wonder. eccentricity. pain.

will i strengthen  from this, or will i let it break me ?

the answer will continue to be unknown.. that is, until i stop letting my fears and emotions control me.  i cannot let them exist. they must vanish now.

Wrote this a while ago..

when the sky is blue, that's how i'm feeling.

as the wind blows, so do my kisses.

when the rain pours down, my tears do the same.

as gray skies appear, i feel alone.

when the sun sets, i am instantly inspired.

as the dawn arrives, i embrace a new journey.

when night is near, i am ready to dream.

but when the sun shines, you are with me.