Wrote this a while ago..

when the sky is blue, that's how i'm feeling.

as the wind blows, so do my kisses.

when the rain pours down, my tears do the same.

as gray skies appear, i feel alone.

when the sun sets, i am instantly inspired.

as the dawn arrives, i embrace a new journey.

when night is near, i am ready to dream.

but when the sun shines, you are with me.

I am not Afraid..

it is somewhat difficult yet so easy for me to describe how i feel.. difficult when at an attempt to explain to others, yes. easy when we're expressing our mutual feelings to each other and no one else ? absolutely.  only we can truly understand the connection that lies within both of us. in the past, confusion was there  to greet us with open arms.. but we pushed it away once the truth became clear in our eyes. although the distance between us is a factor now, i've never felt so close to your heart. its so much better knowing how you feel, because now our admiration  for each other is no longer a  blur of  mystery... but a vivid realization.  we made a promise never to forget, but to remain hopeful that we will be together at some point in time. i will always be here for you, and i am confident that you know this.. and if  confusion comes back and takes hold of your feelings, do not hesitate to defeat it.. just look into my eyes and you will see what is true.. because our eyes will never lie at the sight of what is real.  despite my fear and anxieties, i am not afraid to embrace. i am not afraid to feel.  i am not afraid to love you.

New hair. New change.

Went from brown/auburn to black/dark red.. keyword: dark. decided to edge it up a bit. i'm an upperclassmen now, and i can't believe it because it seems like yesterday that i was a shy, insecure freshman. and looking back 2 years ago to now, i've noticed a change. i'm not exactly how i use to be. some of the things that i focus on now are slightly different. i know more. i've experienced a little more. i've been through more. i'm still that shy, insecure girl that i was 2 years ago, but she hides and doesn't come out as much as she use to. only every once in a while. for some strange reason, i'm looking forward skool.i don't know if it's because i want it to be over already  or because i know that there is more for me to experience. whatever happens, i just hope  that another positive change occurs within myself.. because i've matured. i've learned. i've realized.

Feel.

i want so badly to feel.. to feel like someone cares.. like i have a shoulder to cry on. but not just any shoulder.. the shoulder of  someone accepting.. willing to accept all that i am and also the flaws that i posses.  i am far from perfect, and i want that to be understood. i want many things right now..endless, infinite things. but the one thing that i would choose out of  my many desires  is nothing more than that of.... love. whatever that may be, i am not sure because it is love that my soul has yet to experience.. it is love that i need to be happy... it is love that i need to feel . . . . complete.

i need to..

enjoy myself. have fun. i need to stop being self-concious. i need to stop thinking that absolutely no one will ever understand me or the way i think. i need to be more fearless. i need more confidence in myself. i need to not stress. i need to not worry. i need to erase all the anxieties that have kept me from doing certain things. i need to pursue my interests. i need to stop holding back. i need to live happily. i need to live freely. i need to live LIFE.

Dont Forget.

(( by Demi Lovato))

Did you forget
That i was even alive
Did you forget
Everything we ever had
Did you forget
Did you forget



Did you regret
Ever standing by my side
Did you forget
what we were feeling inside
now i'm left to forget
about us

But somewhere we went wrong
we were once so strong
out love is like a song
you can't forget it

So now i guess
this is where we have to stand
Did you regret
Ever holding my hand
Never again
Please don't forget
Don't forget

We had it all
we were just about to fall
even more in love
than we were before
i won't forget
i won't forget
about us

But somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
our love is like a song
you can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong
we were once so strong
our love is like a song
you can't forget it
At all

And at last
all the pictures have been burned
And all the past
is just a lesson that we've learned
I won't forget
Please don't forget
About us

Somewhere we went wrong
We were once so strong
Our love is like a song
But you won't sing along
You've forgotten
About Us

Don't Forget.

i am simply..

speechless right now. my mind has been on overload because of teenage life and michael jacksons passing..

i'll pour my heart and soul out when i have the mental energy to do so.

as for right now,

peace. :)