Touched By an Angel ((by Maya Angelou))

We, unaccustomed to courage 
exiles from delight 
live coiled in shells of loneliness 
until love leaves its high holy temple 
and comes into our sight 
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives 
and in its train come ecstasies 
old memories of pleasure 
ancient histories of pain. 
Yet if we are bold, 
love strikes away the chains of fear 
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity 
In the flush of love's light 
we dare be brave

And suddenly we see 
that love costs all we are 
and will ever be. 
Yet it is only love 
which sets us free.

soooo true.

"Don't be so Paranoid.."

yeah, i gotta stop that sooner or later..and has to be sooner. i cant shield myself from the world  emotionally anymore. Lately i've had this anxiety about being emotionally attached or even emotionally open with someone. it cant be that way forever. my guard has to be put down eventually. i cant remain ice cold without a trace of heat to melt my heart. i suppose that it is essential to keep others at a distance when you feel that you should be protected from any harm that could possibly head in your direction...but after a while, i had to realize that its not always the way to live, constantly worrying about this, that, and the other. worrying about things that haven't even taken place..except for in my mind, where possible situations take hold of my thoughts. its time to release the fear i have always held within myself, and its also time to make peace with it. 

so goodbye to the fear of my past, and hello to the fearless-ness of my future.

you will be with me through every situation i may encounter, and you will guide me  and bless me to  continue my journey of life.

Comes to the light..

i've realized something. i'm not quite sure what that might be, but i can feel it. i'm not  sure what to do at this point..its like i want so badly to just let it all out,  but once again i just dont want to face rejection. Its like, i wanna wait until he's ready to tell me, but what if he never does???? then i'll be left wishing i had. idk. maybe i should just give up. or maybe i shouldnt. what to do, what to do....

i hate feeling like this. 

"if you have no one to love, you have everything." -so true.

"year's almost over, thank you jesus".

3 days to go homeskillet, then im outta this bee-otch! im not stayin here all day. mi madre is bringin my new phone, then im leaving with Dre and a few others. i dont have a final to take today, so eff' it. im just glad that things are starting to make more sense. confusion is not meant to last forever.. only until you figure out the missing pieces of your puzzle.

And i think i have :)

oh goodness....

okay so im so glad that theres only like a week left of skool.. i cant take it anymore. i cant take stress anymore.. i cant take THIS anymore!!!! i just cant wait til i go to cali for the summer, and hopefully this summer turns into forever, cuz i dont wanna come back here.. i just dont. i feel like i have unfinished business back in Cali. but its not just that... i just miss it. plus im sick of how things have been goin here so far. and i miss my bestiee. and the weather. and my old skool suprisingly. and people. i just dont belong here, i really dont. im a damn cali girl..it always has and will be that way.