I wish that everyone....

understood this about me.. I am my own person, and I sometimes question the purpose of my existence because I have so many flaws. I often feel the need to escape from reality, both mentally and physically. I escape mentally by dreaming of a world that doesn't exist, and I escape physically by keeping myself away from others. This is the only way I can protect myself from what I consider to be a poisonous world, and from the thoughts of close minded beings. They judge and criticize because they simply don't understand, and refuse to allow themselves to view things in a way other than their own. I cant let the realities of life bring me down, and I cant shield myself from the heart of someone who might actually care about me. Its a shame how much rejection I have encountered in my life. It haunts my thoughts and creates a gray aura of melancholy. No matter how happy  I may become, the memories of sadness will be behind a smile that was once a frown. the aura of gray will be lurking behind the rainbow of life, and the feelings that have brought me to tears will remain behind an infectious laugh. Sometimes, it takes your worst enemy to make you realize who you really are. In my case, that enemy is myself.