some people are just meant to....

encounter a specific type of pain in their lives. Mine would be rejection. I always end up feeling rejected in some kinda way,  and in different situations with different people. I never really understood why, and im not sure I ever will.  I suppose that all the rejection that has come my way is essential to make me a stronger person....I just wish that I didn't have to get hurt in the process. Im often left wondering what's wrong with me and what caused  rejection in the first place. But why should I keep trying to pick myself apart when thats the one thing I hate about being scrutinized by other people???? The only answer to that infinite question is that I keep trying to find the problem..the problem within myself that has caused people to reject me, AND that has in return caused me to fill with sadness and confusion. The thing is though, I can never seem to find the problem that I have been looking for for so long. Someone once said to me its because there's not one there. Its all a whirlwind of thoughts in my mind that I just cant seem to get rid of. Will it ever go away and just leave me the hell alone???? I dont know. Maybe i'll never know. But heyy, thats life. Thats MY life.